Your with GOD now Nick and i don't know if your able to read this, but i know GOD can. Although if you were standing next to me this is what i'd say....
They say to take it day by day but its more like minute to minute. They say it will get easier as time goes on but the fact of you not being here sets in a cold harsh reality that seems to worsen everyday. The sun doesn't seem to shine as bright anymore and the days seem so much longer. It hurts, i hurt. Nothing is the same for me. My mind is all messed up. I feel so many emotions at once. Even when i'm laughing, i'm still crying even when i'm smiling i'm still mourning. I think about you CONSTANTLY. Your beautiful eyes, your smile, your laugh, your words, your smell, your presence, that horrible phone call, that bright white room, the smell of the flowers. I'm all over the place right now , sometimes i still feel like I'm dreaming!!
Yeah, life has to go on and people have to live their lives but mine is so incomplete Nick and i don't ever see it ever being complete with you not here. I don't see anything for me being TRULY happy as it was when you were here. People say "You still have to live your life Rach" but, their ain't much here for me besides our family. This is not my home and nor was it yours. I see the picture GODS giving- that there is some SO MUCH BIGGER and much more IMPORTANT than this world-GOD he is the most important!! So I have to pay close attention, cause the world makes it so easy to be distracted and to think other words.
I love you brother and miss you more then words can express.
your only sister<3
P.s
GOD-i know its perfect bliss there but, since i can't please give my brother a hug and a kiss and tell him its from his sister.
